Accepting and Dealing with our ADD Brains

Sometimes people with Attention Deficit Disorder get very frustrated with themselves because of the ways they do things. We can spend a lot of time and energy trying to change these things. While we can learn new skills and strategies, changing the way our brains work isn’t a very easy thing to do. Many times the energy we spend getting angry at ourselves is very destructive.

Even with all the best structure, support, and treatment options there are going to be times when things are still very challenging to people with Attention Deficit Disorder. Accepting that we are going to have challenging moments from time to time can be the first step in learning how to deal with these moments. Beating ourselves up because of these moments can just make these moments worse.

5 Comments

  • Jessica

    Reply Reply December 12, 2005

    Thanks, Teri. Sure needed to read that today. lol

  • Dave

    Reply Reply December 12, 2005

    Tara, you are so right! This is the foundation to successful and effective ADD living. In fact, until my clients accept that they have the condition, and that there are things they can do about it, I can’t help them.

    Unfortunately, for some their self-esteem is so low, they find it almost impossible to accept they are different.

    Fortunately, the majority find such a dramatic change if they accept the condition – even just a little bit – that being the “new” ADD person gets a momentum all of it’s own.

    It is also true though, that most ADDers get all enthusiastic about this “new thing,” it’s then just a matter of sustaining the change.

  • Jamie Robertson

    Reply Reply December 23, 2005

    I have the non-hyper form of ADD and it will take me an hour to write just a little bit right now. Basically my life has been a story of one failure after another with who knows how many embarrassing, “foot in mouth” comments or regretable actions along the way. I am a 36 year old man with a wife and three children. Providing for them has created serious issues in my mind. Do I follow my gut or the advice so many give. Every day, no, every minute I struggle back and forth with these kind of decisions. I feel like if I choose a decision for me then I am being selfish and I rationalize that I probably would fail to follow through with it anyways. I usually choose what I am supposed to do according to my wife or freinds or family. The one time I convinced everyone to back me up I actually became a great artist for about 6 years. I was and I suppose, still am, a realistic watercolorist and oil painter. At the peek of this ride I was ask by the Artist Magazine to write a five page article about my “career” and my art and include a step-by-step technique portion of a painting in progress. They also chose one of my paintings to be on the cover, (March 2002 issue). I thought WOW I finially found something I can be good at. Well, the term, “starving artist”, applies only because creative people create, they can’t market, organize and sell themselves too. My wife did the best she could to help but bad desicions led to poor sales which led to me looking for another thing to fail at. I found another job designing bags and backpacks but was laid-off a year and four months later. Now I am unemployed and lost. Nobody wants to hire a 36 yr old with 3 kids in the design world. I have managed to stay organized enouph to send out several resume’s to no avail. I am scared I will never find finacial stability for my family and right now the depression and confusion I am feeling is tearing my marriage apart and ruining my kids childhood. I am confident I can do anything, I just have no clue how to be or act so I can be one of those guys that works and retires with the same company. I want to be one of those guys for my family before I lose them. They deserve a better life…..sorry this is stupid and depressing.

    Jamie

  • James

    Reply Reply January 4, 2006

    Jamie,

    I can’t help but relate to what you are saying. I am also an adult with ADD who ran around for years trying to self medicate, often with stimulants. It has left me feeling scared about learning how to succeed with the way I work. Work doesn’t come easy, I often have to wait until I go back to the doctor and get a medication before I have the burst of 48 hour relief I need to catch up on all the emails, proposals and phone calls that are back logged. I haven’t learned a good way to manage yet but I am willing and trying. In my industry, I am afforded a lot of freedom but have to produce. This helps sometimes, but ends up contributing to a lot of anxiety when I can’t meet my impossible expectations of myself. I am with you in this struggle and hope to see your post again.

  • Jamie

    Reply Reply January 23, 2006

    Thanks James,

    I just figured out my little rant is here. I thought it was lost or I didn’t send correctly, then I forgot about it.
    I am supposed to be packing up my sewing machine and a mountain of canvas, leather and backpack hardware in my basement so we can put our house up for sale next week. It sounds like you are in a creative type of work and have at least a system or rythem (sp) to keep it. Thanks for sharing and the encouragement, I’ll let you know when something good happens.

    Jamie

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