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« Did My First Show | Main | Women with ADHD - Rhonda's Story »

Thursday, February 21, 2008

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Hi Tara,
Thanks for writing about my blog as a lead-in to your announcement about the Teleseminar.
As you noted: there are only a couple of blogs about marriage and ADD, although there are many blogs written by ADDers themselves. I am not trained in psychology or anything that has to do with ADD / ADHD, but I hope that by being open about the goings-on in our home, it will help other partners of ADDers realize that they are not alone.
I made a deliberate decision to be candid, otherwise there's no point in writing a public blog about our marriage, but at the same time I decided not to allow any personal details that could identify us and cause us embarrassment.

Hello all, if ur reading this then u prob. have a good idea about living with a husband/wife with ADHD, but r struggling with the way to understand ur spouse and their ways. I have alot of ways to share that i deal with this and not take certain things emotionally the wrong way, cause me being a female i have a natural way of taking things to heart, but with a spouse with ADHD u have to understand there way of thinking is something we may not ever 'know what it's like' you know to have the mind work the way theres does. First off my husband is a very successful boxing trainer, and very outstanding on everything he makes an effort at, but it's gotta be something he enjoys and is passionate about. To me the hardest apart of living with ADHD is understanding their brain is constantly thinking and very scattered, then when u try to talk to them about something important, u r actually cutting into their train of important scatter thoughts and automatically they r not listening. This is not on purpose, they r NOT trying to ignore u, they r in a different mind set , that we may never 'know what it's like'. My suggestion is to say, "hey,babe there is something i would like to talk to u about let me know when ur ready to talk and concentrate on what i want to discuss. Always stop and ask politely do u know what i'm saying, even ask nicely to have them repeat it back. This may sound silly or childish but it's actually the best way to communicate with them and not take it to heart and feeling hurt thinking something like they dont want to talk to u, just giving them a chance to stop clear there filled up mind and talk. This is just one of many ways i deal with it, cause my husband is incredible, the best man and daddy, husband!! He is very smart and caring, with ADHD it is something that we that don't have it, need to understand it more. thx for ur time and i hope this helps a little.

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