Making Expectations Clear

Quite often people with ADHD and those who live and work with us take it for granted that each others expectations are clear. For example, the other day I was reading through ADD Forums and a woman was complaining that her boyfriend was seeing other women. Of course most of the people responding to the post assumed the man was wrong or bad.

It got me thinking! Was this man actually wrong? Or did this couple just fail to effectively communicate their expectations of the relationship to each other? It could have just been that he didn’t think they were exclusive and she did.

I too have challenges when come to assuming other people understand my expectations. When they don’t, it’s far too easy for me to assume the worst about others and myself. Something that I am really going to focus on is 2009 is to clearly express my exceptions of people.

2 of my goals for 2009 are:

1. To clearly state my expectations to others
2. To clarify that others understand my expectations the same way I do

1 Comment

  • Scott Lewis

    Reply Reply December 20, 2008

    Hi, Tara. I like to clarify that others are understanding me by asking “Would you tell me back what you heard me say?” That way I know that the other person heard what I was intending. It’s really helpful when things are intense and I’m sharing something that’s potentially volatile. You get immediate feedback so that things don’t go from bad to worse.

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