My ADD / ADHD Blog

Be Careful on Facebook

As many of my readers know I'm on Facebook. For the most part I think Facebook is a great tool to connect with people. As I pointed out in my post The Evils of Facebook it can also be very time consuming and has numerous way to distract people.

People also need to be very careful what they do and put on Facebook too. It's also very important to understand how Facebook works and its privacy settings. For example many people don't realize that other people can tag them in photos. When a person is tagged in photo all of the person's friends can see that photo. I believe this is the default setting.

Earlier this year my mother posted and tagged a photo of me holding my niece on Christmas morning. At the time my Facebook settings allowed all of my "friends" to see tagged photos of me. I was little upset because I did not want my hundreds of Facebook Friends too see what I looked like first thing in the morning after only a few hours of sleep.

I've since changed my Facebook settings so that I am the only person who can see tagged photos of myself. I can't control what other people add to their Facebook accounts. I now do have some control who get to see photos of me though.

Do you understand and have control over your Facebook settings?

Gratitude and ADHD

There's no question that being affected by ADHD can bring challenges into our lives. Some of us are more negatively impacted by ADHD than others. It's only natural to focus on the negative or what we would like to improve in our lives when we are affected by ADHD. It is very important for those of us with ADHD to find ways of managing our ADHD challenges and to thrive.

Sometimes we get so caught up with the things that stress us out and hold us back that we forget to look at the positive parts of our lives. I have been guilty of this too and for me it wasn't until I was pretty much "hit over the head" that I really began to pay attention and appreciate what I do have in my own life.

For a lot of us is does take a major live event to wake us up and force us to pay attention to the people and the things in our lives that we value. However, sometimes it is just as simple as stopping for a moment and asking ourselves some questions.

• Who are the important people in your life?
• What are things in your life that you really value?
• What are you thankful for in your life at this moment?

During this hectic time of year it so important to find time to stop and reflect on what it is you are thankful for in your own life.

Are You Ready?

Can you believe it's already the middle November? Not only are the days getting shorter but the holiday season is here! It doesn't matter what if any holidays you celebrate, you will be affected by the holiday season.

Just think about that trip to the store to purchase something like toilet paper. Going to the store for toilet paper in the middle of September or October is a lot different than going in the middle of December. In addition to actual holiday planning and preparations we also need to be aware and prepare for the everyday changes associated with the holiday season.

It's no wonder many people with ADHD get so stressed out during the holiday season! There are just so many changes which require planning! Planning is a big key to making the holiday season less stressful and being able to enjoy the holiday season. If you haven't already started to plan for the holiday season now is a great time to start.

Believe it or not now is also a great time to begin working with an ADHD Coach too. Also, many people with ADD / ADHD get into the mindset of waiting until after the new year to begin thinking about the new year. An ADHD Coach can help you develop a plan to enjoy the holiday season and also help you to start planning for 2010.

What is your plan for enjoying the holiday season?

Bad Liars!

Yes, I am coming right about and saying it. Most people with ADHD do not make good liars! Some people with ADHD can and do come up with some very believable and sometimes even great lies. Manipulation can often be a strength for people with ADHD. Just look at how many adults with ADHD are in sales, marketing, and politics.

Being a good liar takes more than just coming up with a good lie. It's takes careful planning and remembering! Liars need to remember exactly what lie they told and which people they told the lie to. If you can't remember where you put your keys or when to pay your bills you probably won't remember all the details required to be a good liar.

Also, most people won't call you out on your lies either. Just because you didn't "get caught" doesn't really mean people believe your lies.

Prioritizing and Getting Stuck

Wow, it's been almost 3 weeks since I blogged! I think this may have been the longest I've gone with out blogging since I started the blog 4 years ago. Once again I thought I was having writer's block because I couldn't think of anything to write. But, once it again it was because I had so many thoughts, ideas, and events that I could write about and didn't stop to take the time to prioritize and choose just one to start with.

When I did finally stop for a few minutes to get things out of my head and on paper I was amazed at how easy it was for me to choose where to start. For example I have 3 important events happening this week at ADDClasses.com and realized writing about them in the order they will be happening made a lot of sense.

Monday - Terry Matlen and I are going to open up the ADD Action Club For new Members.

Tuesday -  Dr. John Ratey will be offering a Free Teleseminar about ADHD and Exercise

Wednesday - The 6 Week Free Organized Job Search Program begins.

Coaching Tip: When you are stuck and not sure how to prioritize, start with a very simple system.

Adult ADHD and Thinking the Worst

It's quite common for Adults with ADHD to automatically think the worst and jump to the wrong conclusions. Some of it is do to impulsivity and some of it is due to past experiences. When Adults with ADHD have a poor self image we automatically think the worst about ourselves and it's quite often not the case.

So when you are thinking the worst about yourself stop for a few moments to ask yourself if you have all the facts. If you don't then it's probably a good idea to try and get them. As adults with ADHD we beat up ourselves enough for real things and we don't need to beat ourselves up for things that may not even be true.

Does Passion + Interest really = Success?

No!!! Passion + Interest does not = Success - Despite what some professionals in the ADHD Community are telling you. Passion plus interest is only part of the equation. When talking about adults with ADHD we can't forget the other parts of the equation.

Saying passion + interest = success is like saying that 2 pieces of bread makes sandwich. The bread is the most important part of the sandwich but alone does not make a sandwich. Just like Passion + Interest may be the most important keys to success but alone do not create success.

We can't forget the fact that we need systems in place and that we need balance in our lives. Though we should not focus primarily on our challenges and weaknesses we can't just pretend they don't exist. We do need to manage our challenges and weakness and sometimes improve them also.

Re-evaluate and Change

It's hard to believe that 2008 is almost over. It's been quite an eventful year and definitely full of changes. Some of the changes of 2008 were welcomed changes and some were not. Changes in the world and in our own lives give us the opportunity to re-evaluate our lives.
                         
People with ADHD constantly need to re-evaluate the systems and strategies they are using. The end of 2008 is a great time to begin or continue to re-evaluate before planning and implementing changes in 2009.
 
  A few question to are yourself are:                        

• What DID work for me in 2008?
• What did not work for me in 2008?
• What do I want for myself in 2009?
• What can I add in 2009?
• What can I change in 2009                     

Some people can ask these questions to themselves, figure out the answers, and implement them on their own. For others the help of a professional like an ADHD Coach or an ADD Coaching Program might be helpful. Either way, now is a good time to begin thinking about a plan for 2009.

Making Expectations Clear

Quite often people with ADHD and those who live and work with us take it for granted that each others expectations are clear. For example, the other day I was reading through ADD Forums and a woman was complaining that her boyfriend was seeing other women. Of course most of the people responding to the post assumed the man was wrong or bad.

It got me thinking! Was this man actually wrong? Or did this couple just fail to effectively communicate their expectations of the relationship to each other? It could have just been that he didn't think they were exclusive and she did.

I too have challenges when come to assuming other people understand my expectations. When they don't, it's far too easy for me to assume the worst about others and myself. Something that I am really going to focus on is 2009 is to clearly express my exceptions of people.

2 of my goals for 2009 are:

1. To clearly state my expectations to others
2. To clarify that others understand my expectations the same way I do

Not Worth My Time

The buzz around social networking sites like FaceBook and Twitter is that Starbucks is giving out free coffee tomorrow to people who tell them they have voted. Don't get me wrong I love coffee and I love free stuff. What I don't like is waiting in line and dealing with crowds. While the initial idea of getting something for free excited me a bit, the reality is that it's not worth my time.

I think this is something for people with Adult ADHD to think about. How valuable is your time? It the time and energy it takes for something like getting a $3 cup of coffee for free really worth it to you? Or could you be using that time and energy towards something else?

Maybe the free cup of coffee is really worth it to you! But, it's really something to think about!