As long as I can remember I was the ’emotional one" the "trouble maker", that one bad kid who never had her homework finished on time, except history class. I got only A+’s on that topic, including names, places, dates etc.
Got an IQ test when I was 12, and scored above average. It was a clear sign for teachers, parents and study leaders that I must be very lazy, have no backbone, and lack any interest in academics.
My high school diploma was a huge drama, I got a grade 10 dimploma (Europe) never graduated according to the North American requirements. I started to work and had some good paying jobs, but often felt not complete. Usually I moved on to another job since this must have bin the cause of my feelings of sadness. Often I had to listen to the stories my parents told others about their children but especially the one who was sooo difficult. I felt guilty, truly guilty for what a horrible period in their life I had given them.